Here’s an example of how listing what you DO WANT can still make you sound like a douchebag. It’s so unnecessary for these statements but ignorant douchebags still insist on outing themselves on their profiles
Sigh! Another 27 year old who looks 45. WTF is up with these so called 20 something year olds on Grindr? They all look like they were rode hard and put away wet. Probably by Tina. I know so many sexy desirable men in their 40′s and 50′s. You punks look like dog shit.
Everyone hating right now is RETARDED. Everyone had a “type” and everyone finds one race more attractive then the other. This doesn’t mean that he’s “racist”, it means he wants to find the person that he would be most attracted to. As a Lesbian I personally find white girls more attractive then others but this doesn’t mean I’M RACIST. I’ve dated every race, So you fools need to get off you’re computer and get a life.
P.s. Don’t even TRY and tell me you don’t have a preference. If people didn’t there wouldn’t be shit like Asian porn.
we hooked up once. nice guy, good lay, definitely not far off from 27 or so, and while some dudes on this site are total d-bags in the way they go into their racial preferences, grindr is all about making it as easy as possible to get what you’re looking for. yes, ‘sexually racist’ was kind of an obviously douche-y thing to say. curious to know what would be the most accepted way of indicating sexual preferences wrt race.
Well, I can see how sexually racist might be come off wrong and be hurtful to someone who is sensitive about it, but I think this is a rather shallow way to assess something as complex as racism. Virtually everyone has some racist tendency, feelings or conditioning that they need to fight when it matters (& I’m not sure that it always does with sex), and it helps to be conscious of it. By saying that he’s sexually racist, I infer that he doesn’t believe he is racist in other ways, and frankly, I happen to know that he spent a couple years as a nurse in Botswana working with HIV-infected children. Have any of the rest of you left your comfort zone, gone to another continent and given your time and energy save the lives of differently raced people? What does that say about his views of race where it matters? As far as the rules of attraction go, are people who are attracted to guys who resemble their father, or women who are like their mother racist? That touches on something that has nothing to do with whether you have stereotypes or look down on other races. Frankly, it has been my observation that some of the people who specifically look for partners of another race fetishise them, and may have REALLY fucked up views of their partner’s race. I’m not throwing stones, because I have some bisexual tendencies, but oddly, I prefer dark exotic women to whitebread women (unless they are tomboyish). They just seem sexier, sultry — they aren’t like my sisters who I am sort of repulsed by. Conversely, for most of my life I was mostly attracted to preppy white jock types, generally smooth. I’ve expanded beyond that now, which is a also a good thing because it increases my odds of getting laid. I even like hairy guys as long as they are less hairy than me (I’m pretty fricken hairy). But I’m in my 40′s now — when I was 27 I was much more limited. I could kick myself now for passing on some of the guys who liked me. But live and learn.
@Theo – I can say that in my work as a relief and community development worker, I have worked in Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Pakistan and Afghanistan – helping people affected by war, natural disasters and coincidentally HIV/AIDS as well.
I have no problems helping people of different color, different classes because I see them as my equals and that they need my help. Similarly, I am attracted to anyone whom I think is attractive regardless of race because again, I see them as my equal – not because I fetishize them or reject them because I think they are inferior to my race or my idea of what is beautiful.
And I felt like this almost all my life (okay when I was younger I wasn’t so into Middle Eastern men cuz they reminded me of my father. But now I LIKE Middle Eastern men!) which I would attribute to growing up in a multiracial and multicultural country.
So because I tend to see people as unique individuals and not as stereotypes, people who have racial preferences fucking baffles me. I wonder what needs to be done to reverse this ethnocentric social conditioning eh?
Good to meet you @azul. You seem to be in the goldilocks zone, although she’s categorised by a racial trait, and I’ve always that that was a misnomer anyway because she was something of a spoiled brat, there was nothing ‘just right’ about her. She was horrid. What we typically think of as being ‘just right’ was really what the mama bear liked. It should be ‘the mama bear zone.’ Anyway, it’s great that you are there, and that you are a humanitarian. But I suspect you are the exception to the rule. Furthermore, by your own admission, you weren’t attracted to Middle Eastern men. So you went for people who were more unlike your case perhaps, until you outgrew it. And that’s probably why the opposite inclination seems inscrutable to you. But you weren’t self-hating, were you? You didn’t see Middle-Eastern people as being inferior? The reasons for your sexual preferences were not really related to racism. But they were there none-the-less. Conversely, I also think that people may be more attracted to someone who is like their one of their parents as well, and it isn’t because they see all other people as inferior. It has to do with the feelings of safety, or the longing for attention from a parent that you are still looking for. My point is, that it is all tangled up in other issues and psychoses that are unrelated to racism. Sexual desire has different grounds in different people as well. What if I like dominating someone sexually, but I feel uncomfortable reinforcing patterns of ethnic/cultural oppression (and I see this in some people who chase after a type they fetishize — you know it happens) and so tend to avoid such sexual situations. I will say that I see this expressed as classism in myself sometimes. I am less likely to worry about whether a potential sexual partner who is white is middle class… but I am only comfortable with a black partner if he is SOLIDLY middle class, or a jockish Asian guy who sounds like any other American jock. I also am more attracted to black guys if they have an English accent. What’s that about? Anyway, when I think about whether people are attracted to me or not? I’m too hairy for a lot of people, and even though rejection on account of that might hurt, I can’t take it personally that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea (and my hairy back IS a racial characteristic). But that’s different than people saying I’m my hairiness denotes other characteristics, like I can’t be trusted, or can’t be a doctor, or to move into a certain neighbourhood or to go to certain school, church or whatever. That’s the sort of racism we’ve got to stomp out. But if some guy is pretty much only into red-heads? We shouldn’t get all bent out of shape about it.
@Theo – I’m not Middle Eastern. My father had Middle Eastern blood and had Middle Eastern features but he (like me) was a mixture of couple of other ethnicities actually – so, no I wasn’t a self hating Middle Eastern because I wasn’t one.
I would love to discuss this matter further with you but rather than repeating myself and explaining things again and again on this site, may I suggest you visit a couple of websites and maybe do an online search on a few things?
Please visit stopracismandhomophobiaongrindr.tumblr.com and microaggressions.com
Please Google ‘white privilege’ by Peggy McIntosh; racial microaggressions by Dr. Derald Wing Sue and internalized racism. The website for VicHealth offers a lot of good information on the health and economic cost of racism in the state of Victoria, Australia.
I get some of the points you are saying and I do admit that there may be some validity to them but to really discuss the matter further with you, I think you should read on those things first, if that’s okay.
That’s cool azul, I will do those searches and get back to you… it may be next week, I’m traveling across a few continents over the next several days, long story. Will post again when I’m more settled.
Wow. Based on some of the comments this guy must be spinning through the men on a lazy Susan. Forget the age, harness (make that a lazy Sling), and “preference,” I’d be more worried on getting the “gift that keeps on giving.” nothing wrong with hooking up, but when your phone contacts list becomes the gay pages, you gotta be careful boys!
I always prefer when guys speak in the positive rather than the negative. If someone likes white guys – fine – we all have our preferences. I just hate seeing lists of things someone doesn’t like. THAT is marginalizing. Of course I’m far more lenient on him because of the harness – and im a smooth fit white guy (full disclosure). @CJ – if someone is afraid of hooking up with someone who hooks up a lot…perhaps grindr isn’t the right app for you cause you get no guarantees and should assume everyone is a ho with every std available.
Using sexually racist makes him a douche. He does look kinda Used I guess would be the word for it. Like he’s been in the scene too long and its catching up with him in a bad way. But I wouldn’t call him ugly.
This guy is one of the nicest guys I have met online. I am sure he gets 100s of messages a day on d.n. alone but still manages to respond kindly to me, even though we have never met and he could just as easily ignore or block me. I think that more people should aspire to be as kind as he is. knowing what you want and like is an ever-developing process, why so much hate for this? he’s hot! so are his vids! thanks for being amazing derek!
This guy is not nice or sweet or kind. He’s ridiculous and cruel. All his “good” work as a nurse and volunteer isn’t because he has a big heart at all; rather, he likely volunteers for lgbt/hiv causes because he has HIV himself – he has a ton videos of himself having sex with strangers raw and then breeding them (including 18 year old kids, which is really sick and disturbing). Not a drop of altruism and full of self interest.
This guy is really an inconsiderate monster, who doesn’t care about anybody but himself. It’s why he made the thoughtless comment about sexual racism and it’s why he engages in the sexual practices that he does. I’ll be happy when he gets what’s coming to him, which will occur when his meds become ineffective.
So..Brock…is an attention whore. Period. I am sure he was the one who submitted his Grindr profile to this blog. That’s how he is. Good or bad attention he feeds off of it.
I do think it’s sweet that his many, many hookups and “friends” have come to his defense. I also hooked up with him (gulp) seems like the majority of San Francisco has…anyway – he is a nice guy and attractive. He is in fact 27 as well.
I will say this…I am interested to see how he matures, not physically, but mentally. Right now he is a bit immature and for his sake, I really hope he scats his age when the time is right.
And he likes what he likes — smooth white boys with bangin’ asses – so what. Not raciest at all. Everyone is attracted to what they are attracted to. Brock has many friends of all races. He is not raciest. He just likes hot power bottoms.
1) I do think that it’s a mistake on grindr or any other site to post your “dislikes”, it’s just unnecessarily promotes your negative views of particular “types” (or in this cases, races).
2) I find the comment #37 by Yuck to be in very poor taste, either he’s utterly lying to slander this person further, which is reprehensible, or he has spent some time being intimate with this person and is betraying a trust. Either way, he’s quite out of line and lacking in character himself.
Actually I’m surprised to see this Grindr screenshot. He’s messaged me on DN and was nice and complimentary (and I’m south asian). I guess my ass is decent enough for him to supercede how white it isn’t… or he thinks I have a really great tan? But yeah, he’s actually fairly nice, at least as far as guys online go.
I’ve talked to him on Dudesnude and I’m 100% black. Not sure why he said he’s sexually racist cuz I’ve offered my ass and his response “When you come to San Fran we can hang out and see what happens.” LOL we’ve chatted for about six-eight months. One of the nicest guys I’ve met. I was kinda shocked by his ad but def not a representation of whom he really is.
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